Highway IQ

All Rights Reserved © 2006 Thomas W. Day

I stare into every car, truck, van, or SUV that shares the roadway with me. Women probably think I'm checking them out. Sometimes there might be an element of that. I'm human. I stare at guys just as often, though. No matter what they think, I'm not checking them out. I am stereotyping them, though. I know that's politically incorrect, but there it is. Like the marketing gurus say, "impressions are everything." Or "image," something like that. I don't have time to get to know these people. I'm not even interested in doing so. I just want to know, as quickly as possible, what kind of hazard they present to me. Cops call this "profiling." Lawyers get really upset at this practice. So sue me.

The average person has an IQ of 100 points. I grant that and start from there. My built-in point system adds or subtracts from that number almost as quickly as I can make out the interior of the vehicle. From there, I either disregard the driver, more or less, as a threat or apply evasive tactics to get as much distance between me and the hazard. The dumber the driver, by my IQ accounting system, the quicker I want to escape their sphere of disaster influence. You probably do the same thing, either more or less aggressively than me.

• Driver is in a 4(or more)-wheel vehicle: -5 points (How smart do you have to be to drive a cage?)

• Driver is a cop. This class of government official has an inflated sense of driving skill, not reflected in performance. They are prone to make sudden, irrational moves when their radio distracts them. They regularly ignore stop signs and stop lights. They scare the crap out of other drivers, making everyone in their vicinity a little less skilled and attentive: -10 points.

• Coffee, hairbrush, and/or cigarette in hand: -15 points for each item

• Driver is tipped at 45 degrees, so that his (always a guy) head is right under the rear view mirror: -20 points (This appears to be a Minnesota thing, because I've never seen it anywhere else, but it always means the driver is drunk, stupid, physically incapable of holding himself upright, or all three. I treat this driving posture as a flashing "beware of idiot!" sign.)

• Backwards baseball cap, blue hair, cowboy hat, or ski mask on driver's head: -25 points

• Coffee in face or driver is most often looking in any direction other than the vehicle's path of travel: -30 points

• Driver looking at self in rearview mirror with hairbrush, coffee, or cigarette in hand: -40 points

• Cell phone in use or beer in hand: -50 points

• "Start Seeing Motorcycles" or other pro-biking sticker on the vehicle: +2 points

• I catch the driver's eyes in the rear view mirror: +10 points

• After seeing me once, the driver looks again every few moments to see if I'm still there: +10 more points

• Both hands on wheel, head and eyes in motion: +25 points

• The driver is towing a trailer full of dirt bikes: +50 points

After I've made the above calculations and classifications, I use a modified version of the David Roth (ex-Van Halen frontman, current-EMT-has-been) crowd intelligence rule. I roughly count the number of vehicles in a 100' distance, front to back and both sides, of the vehicle and divide the driver's IQ by that number. In heavy traffic, everyone is a menace to my safety, almost by logical default. I'm the least likely vehicle on the road to harm the passengers of another vehicle, so I'm in the logical space for an escape route for other vehicles.

Just to calibrate your appreciation of my scoring system, an article in Scientific American Magazine once stated, ""Adults in the bottom 5% of the IQ distribution (below 75) are very difficult to train and are not competitive for any occupation on the basis of ability. . . " and "Persons of average IQ (between 90 and 100) are not competitive for most professional and executive-level work but are easily trained for the bulk of jobs in the American economy. . . " That's pretty cold, isn't it? Nature and the highway are cold as the floor of an icehouse. As far as my own survivability is concerned, a web article on IQ gave me the following information about the brainpower behind the numbers and I've added my own "Estimated Driving Skills" column to assess my own risk based on the driver's IQ:

IQ Range	Estimated Driving Skills (Alert Level Color Code)
Below 30	Flashing Red: This driver is clearly an unpredictable moron, an outrageous hazard at any speed, expect any damn idiot move from this rolling example of chaos theory. Ultimate alert.
30 to 50	Red: Mostly unpredictable, slow-witted, prone to panic and irrational lane changes. High alert.
50 to 60	Orange: Unless a slight change in traffic, road condition, or the moon's position relative to the sun occurs, you can probably count on this driver to remain stable. Check for distracted behavior every second or two.
60 to 74	Yellow: Loud noises, bright colors, anything sparkly or in motion will distract this driver, but he/she will probably do something mildly predictable when panic occurs. Moderate alert.
74 to 89	Blue: Mostly, this driver is stable. Pay special attention to this driver at intersections, on curves, and near fast food entrances. Fairly low alert.
89 to 100	Green: Probably not a risk, if anyone else in the above categories is sharing the road, this driver warrants minimal attention. I'd still avoid spending any time in an adjacent lane with this driver.
Above 100	Invisible: The chances are slim that this driver provides much risk. Based on past experience, one of these guys will probably be who kills me.

I realize these generalization are culturally "unfair," "biased," and even irrational. They are based on my nearly half-million miles of motorcycling and they are habitual. I constantly and automatically balance my belief that most people are decent and well-intentioned and that most drivers are nuts and "out to get me." My riding state boarders on paranoia, I'll admit. My confidence in my ability to deal with these contradictions varies with the road conditions and my concentration. You'd think that this would take the fun out of riding a motorcycle and it does put a damper on outright highway euphoria, but I'm disinclined to that mental state as you might have noticed. Riding a motorcycle is risky and that's part of the attraction. However, there is a definite line between assuming risk and committing suicide and evaluating the folks I share the road with is part of my risk assessment.

Passengers and Passengers

A while ago, I wrote a section of the MMSC website that was clearly not PC enough for the state folks. One of the things I suggested in the website was that those considering becoming a motorcycle passenger look at the motorcycle rider as someone who has his hands on the passenger's life support equipment. If you wouldn't trust that guy with your oxygen, you shouldn't get on a bike with the dude. I don't know when, but the site removed my comments and replaced them with something a lot less critical. The folks who promote motorcycling don't want potential customers to worry about piddly things like safety and reasonable precautions.

I'm getting a dose of my own medicine as I write the beginning of this column. I'm on my 2010 Rocky Mountain Tour with my grandson, Wolfgang. My kids are the most precious people in my life. Having one of them on my motorcycle is both incredibly fun and scary.

Considering all of my deficiencies, I'm a fairly confident rider on my own. I screw up, but rarely badly. When I'm into a long-distance solo trip, I take some chances on speed, location, isolation, and communications. I might change directions, go someplace I hadn't considered or mentioned in my original plans without notifying anyone. I might get bored on a long stretch of repetitive terrain and drop the hammer on the bike and ride flat out for a while. I don't ride at night much these days, but I might do that under some conditions. I get downright mechanical about my routines, especially maintenance. That goes to hell when I just ride somewhere with someone else.

With Wolf on the bike, all of the above becomes well-deformed. We call in regularly and I tell his mother where we're going next. I'm riding like an old lady, by my standards of speed, cornering style, and patience. The tires have serious chicken-strips with the side-nubs barely worn. I would have to call my riding style these last 3,600 miles "conservative." If you know me, you know that ain't braggin'. I'm cautious about where we camp or stay. I stick to the planned route as well as I'm able. We pass cool looking side-routes that I'd jump into without question on my own. We might have taken 200 miles of dirt roads this trip. My usual ratio would be more like 25-50% of the overall trip on dirt roads and trails.

I assigned maintenance to him, because it keeps him busy, gives me a little breathing room, and it's "educational." It takes one task away from my list and he is solidly responsible. He did more than a competent job of it.

Still, riding with a precious passenger is a load. Not the weight he adds to the bike. Not the extra emotional energy it takes to travel with someone else. Not even the fact that he's a teenager with a kid's wildly varying energy and interest levels. The load is the responsibility to take this boy to every place we've talked about going and doing it safely. Motorcycling is a risky activity. We all know that. Anyone pretending that riding a motorcycle is in any way as safe as driving a car is someone you shouldn't trust with sharp objects, significant financial assets, or critical decisions.

There are rewards, for sure. I suppose most risky activities have rewards. All of the ones I've indulged in have had upsides that made the risk worth taking; at least at the time. When you spread that risk to someone else, you have to step into another role, though.At least, you ought to. You should care enough about that person to lower the risk factors as far as practical, while still having some fun and getting somewhere. It's a different mind-set than solo traveling. In our case, it was more than worth it. We had a great, safe, adventurous trip and we both came back in one piece. Now, I need a nap.

Desert Rats

We made it through Steamboat, a village that has turned into a seriously ugly city in the mountains, kept going almost all the way to Utah before the heat got to Wolfe. We quit about 5 miles short of Dinosaur National Park. The next morning, we arrived in Utah and Dinosaur National Park. The park turned out to be a serious disappointment. The wall of dinosaurs has been closed for viewing for more than 3 years. All that is left is a short walk led by a ranger and a campground. The campground was nice, but not worth 100 miles of desert.

Next morning, we headed south on Colorado 139. South on the west edge of Colorado is desert. At Grand Junction, it was 104F deserty. While we were filling out a gear shortage at a sporting goods shop, a guy driving a truck decorated with "Bob McConnell for Congress" door panels.

"You came all the way from Minnesota on that?"

"Yep."

"You got some great politicians in Minnesota."

I waited to hear who we had that was great.

"Tim Pawlenty and Michelle Bachman. Great people."

I sorta hoped that he meant Jesse, but I should have known better for the deserts of Colorado. I don't know if that guy was Bob McConnell, but he looked like a less macho, younger version of the face on a Bob McConnell poster I saw on the way out of town. Could be they clone wingnuts out here.

We found our stuff and hit the road again. Grand Junction didn't do much for me, either.

After Dinosaur National and Grand Junction, Wolfe was more convinced than ever that there was nothing for him in the arid zones. I'd really wanted to see the infinity bridge at the Grand Canyon, but Wolfe is boss on this trip. So, we kept going south, now on Colorado 141 which is one of the most scenic desert rides I've ever experienced. Just past Nucia, I put in an easterly deviation, via Colorado 145, toward Telluride to find a cooler camp ground. Found a great campsite about 5 miles south of Telluride on 145.

We rolled into Mesa Verde National Park at 8:30AM and I got a terrific birthday present from the National Parks System: a $10 lifetime pass to all national parks and monuments and a 50% discount on camping at all national campsites. Unlike Dinosaur National Monument, Mesa Verde did not disappoint. We saw most of it and cut out when the temperature beat 100F.

We didn't go far. We're in Durango now, blowing a night, waiting to take the train to Silverton tomorrow. Afterwards, we're gong north for a cheap night at a national campground and on to Colorado's charms and anomalies.

Crossing the Great Divide

The fine folks at Frontier Cycle whipped out a pair of fork seal replacements in an hour and a half and got us on the road by 10:30AM today. A few hours later, we crossed the great continental divide at Rabbit Ear Pass.

It's been a while since I've experienced new fork seals. At first, I thought I'd told Frontier to use the wrong fork oil. I've been using 15W on the V-Strom since I brought it home, but I was feeling every ripple in the road for the first 50 miles. Slowly, the ride smoothed out and the forks went back to sucking up the road irregularities.

We made up for a short day yesterday by being mostly bored with Steamboat Springs. I remember Steamboat as being a cool, but small, skiing village. It has turned into a noisy, tourist hell with a massive dose of boring yuppie condos and glass and redwood Texas whorehouses. Wolfe and I took the ski lift for old times sakes, but neither of us had much interest in shopping or being mobbed by people who were shopping. We moved on toward Dinosaur National Monument. We made it to Dinosaur, CO and discovered that the real entrance to the park is in Utah. We'd covered almost 350 miles since we left Laramie and we were cooked, almost literally. Copped out again and snagged a motel for the air conditioning.

Wolfe is getting into the bike check routine. It's his job while I fill the tank and pay for the gas. We're using repetition of the T-CLOCS MSF routine with a little more detail on the loose bolts and rattled loose bits.

Crusin' the Rockies

Wolfe and I are on the 3rd day of our Rocky Mountain Adventure. We've had a few glitches. Got cooked in the Black Hills yesterday, but had an amazing day and night at Rushmore and in Keystone. The picture, at left, is Wolfe being held up by the wind at the top of Morton Pass on Wyoming Highway 34. We must have fought a 50mph cross wind all the way over the pass. Kansas has nothing on Wyoming winds.

Today, we got out early (about 3 hours too early for Wolfe) and were making great time until about 1PM, when we stopped for a moment in Laramie, WY and I discovered my right fork was pulsing oil. We'd covered about 250 miles or so and I was hoping to add at least another 150 before stopping. Instead, we're in Laramie for a while.

Suzuki's dealer here, Frontier Cycles, seems to be on it. I carry a pile of tools, but nothing near what it would take to replace a fork seal. I thought about pulling the fork, flushing it with diesel, filling it with ATF, and making a run for a friend's house in Denver where there might be more tools and a shop I could use, but the guys at Frontier think they have the necessary parts and I'm taking a gamble on them. Where this goes from here is anyone's guess.

What It All Means

The things revealed in the exposure of the internal workings of Motorcyclist Magazine shouldn't come as a big surprise to anyone. The inner workings (and collapse of) of the main stream press has been discussed practically to death in the last decade. A recent series of discussion in Politics Daily ("'Beyond the Killing Fields': Why Journalism Is in a 'State of Chaos") says as much about consumer product journalism as it does about political and state-of-the-world journalism. To use William Goldman's phrase, "follow the money." Money created modern journalism and money is going to change it. Publishers like William Hearst invented old-school "yellow journalism," promoted the Spanish-American War, waged war on a variety of social issues, and made boatloads of money from it all. When the money really became the issue, in 1929, the corporation's (and Hearst's) politics changed, much of their editorial stance swapped directions, and has steadily become more conservative over the last eight decades.

The trick to modern journalism is to convince readers that the publication is intended for their interests and entertainment while consistently promoting the interests of the advertisers. For that to work, the readership has to be fairly gullible. The problem is that readers are inclined to be skeptical. The most gullible citizens generally aren't literate, curious, well-informed, logical, critical, or analytical. While those folks would be most magazine's target audience, they aren't consistently reachable through the written word. Television is their media of choice. It will be interesting to see how motorcycle magazines find a place in the new world of information and entertainment.

When Readers Get to Peek Under the Hood

"Leaked docs show Motorcyclist caved to advertiser pressure, fired editor" is the title. The gist is, due to advertiser pressure, Brian Catterson (Motorcyclists' editor) fired staff writer Dexter Ford for a story he wrote about Snell helmet standards for the New York Times last fall. I'm not much of a fan of Motorcyclist, mostly because of the magazine's overwhelming endorsement of hooligan exhaust system noise and Catterson's generally abrasive attitude toward anyone who disagrees with him, but this series of emails shows that Brian is even more erratic in reality than he seems in his magazine.

Pretty funny stuff. The Hell for Leather article includes this line, "If true, the emails raise troubling questions about a potentially unethical relationship between advertising dollars and editorial content at the popular magazine. . . " Sorry. I don't think any reasonable person reads Motorcyclists or any other major product-based magazine expecting to see information critical of that industry. Rick Sieman (Super Hunky) with Dirt Bike Magazine was the last seriously critical editor (in my memory) in the history of mainstream motorcycle journalism. I think the manufacturers set fire to his ass and tossed him into a swimming pool full of high test.

Advertisers have the power in the ragstock publication business. Honest industry magazines have stopped asking for subscription contributions because subscribers just don't pay the bills. The folks who pay the bills call the shots. That's pretty much all there is to it. I wish Mr. Ford well. He is a good investigative journalist, but there isn't much call for investigative journalism these days. We've moved into the newspapers/magazines-as-press-releases phase of written communications and, until folks can figure out how to make money on the World Wide Web, that's where we're going to be for a while.

Handicapping

All Rights Reserved © 2010 Thomas W. Day

I recently taught an MSF Experienced Rider Course (ERC) with another refugee from our magazine. He is a serious rider with a small collection of motorcycles in various states of abuse and deterioration and an even bigger collection of small businesses and personal responsibilities. The result of that complicated mid-life is that his motorcycles don't always get the love and attention the need and deserve. The result of that result was that on this Sunday morning, he had nothing to ride. So, his choice was to give up the class, use one of the state's motorcycles for class demonstrations, or turn over all the demos to me. To cover his bets, he'd already pulled one of the state's Suzuki GZ250's from the trailer when I arrived.

To satisfy as many people as possible, the state provides us with a fair selection of motorcycles for the Basic Rider Course. We have small sport bikes, a couple models of dual purpose bikes, some standards, and some cruisers. Why an experienced and talented rider would pick the GZ250 from that assortment is the inspiration for the title of this rant. The GZ250 is a clunky-shifting, long-wheelbase, uncomfortable, awkward and imprecise mini-cruiser. If you want to look like you know what you are doing, this would be the last bike you'd pick for demonstrations. (I've written before about how dumb I think cruisers are, so this isn't going to be that discussion.) His reasoning for picking the one bike in the trailer that he didn't like riding was: he was handicapping himself with a poorly designed motorcycle so that student's wouldn't be able to claim he was "cheating" the course on an easier-to-ride bike than the implement they'd brought.

Many of us who teach the ERC get that response from the hippobike crowd when we demonstrate on our motorcycles. So, we compensate. I usually ride my 650 V-Strom for these classes, although my everyday ride is a 250 dual purpose. Unless I'm going some distance or need the carrying space the V-Strom's 3 cases provides, the 250 does my commuting job pretty damn well. So, when I ride the V-Strom for an ERC, I'm handicapping myself for the benefit of the many characters who bring over-sized, hard-to-ride motorcycles that overwhelm their skills and physical capabilities. I guess I'm trying to show some sympathy for their poor choices. The more I think about this, the dumber it seems.

At the other end of the learning spectrum, when the MN-Sportbike guys throw one of their Hedonistic-Enthusiasm parties and I'm able to sign up, I often bring the 250. It's more fun to ride. The only way I can keep up with my group is to go fast in the corners, since everyone is going to hammer me on the straights. I learn more about cornering and I push my own limits harder on the little bike. Did I mention it's more fun to ride?

In emergency situations, I'd rather be on the little bike. It's stops faster, turns quicker, is able to leap tall curbs in a single hop, is as happy riding in a ditch as on the pavement, slips between practically any traffic space, and, if I find myself lying under it, it doesn't weigh much. Splitting lanes in an emergency maneuver is way easier on the 250. Swerving away from a traffic obstacle is effortless and doesn't even require much thought.

It's obvious that lots of American motorcyclists think that buying a big bike is like buying a big car: bigger is safer. That is about the dumbest rationale I've ever heard. When you are vaulting over the handlebars, you want the smallest motorcycle you can imagine in the air behind you. It's hard to come up with an emergency scenario that would justify being on a large motorcycle. In any crash situation, the highway, traffic, engineering, and nature have handicapped motorcyclists to a sensational disadvantage. We don't need to give up any more than we have already donated to make this demonstration seem "fair." When you are on the top rung of that risk-taking ladder, it's past time to start looking for any advantage you can find.

Even when I'm demonstrating on the V-Strom, I get "That's easy to do on your bike, trying doing that on my Giganticusmaximus " My response is usually, "Why would I want to do that?"

Seriously. Why would I want to ride a motorcycle that was designed by a committee that has the group intelligence of a Spinal Tap audience? Hell, my 650 is too big for the stuff we're doing on this range. My 250 would be perfect here, but I'm handicapping myself with a road bike so that you won't feel bad about not being on the wrong motorcycle for your skills and our purposes. If you think this U-turn exercise is easy on my V-Strom, you'll really be disgusted at how easy it is to do on the bike I ride everyday.

By the way, I put 5,000 miles on my 250 last year, what did you do on your 1800 Hippodromeopotamus? Are you going to ride that thing, or just watch it deteriorate in your garage? You can't ride it, right? You're afraid you're going to crash it and kill yourself because it's too big, too powerful, and you don't have the skills to manage it. You should have bought a 250 for your first bike, but you didn't want to look stupid. You missed that bet, dude. You can't look dumber than when you are selling your $25,000 motorcycle for $5,000 with 2500 miles on the odometer and a rash of scratched up chrome from when you dropped the bike in your driveway.

All the News that Didn't Fit

AMA Updates
On May 11, Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer vetoed Arizona: House Bill 2475 which would have authorized a one-year experiment to allow and study lane splitting in Maricopa County (the Phoenix metropolitian area). The bill was unanimously passed by the House and had a substantial Senate majority.

South Carolina Supreme Court struck down the Myrtle Beach, S.C. helmet law. The helmet law was among several rules passed by that city to restrict motorcyclists' access to Myrtle Beach. "We find that the City Helmet Ordinance fails under implied field preemption due to the need for statewide uniformity and therefore issue a declaratory judgment invalidating the ordinance." Ed Moreland, the AMA senior vice president for government relations, said, "We're pleased that the South Carolina Supreme Court struck down the Myrtle Beach law, sending a clear message to all jurisdictions that discriminatory laws against motorcyclists are unacceptable."

Racing Action
Valentino Rossi is out with "a displaced and exposed fracture of his right tibia," suffered when he crashed his Fiat Yamaha M1 in a practice round of the for the Italian Grand Prix in Mugello. For the next 6 months, Rossi is out of the MotoGP picture. Yamaha is still in good position for the series, though. Jorge Lorenzo came in 2nd in the Mugello round and added to his championship lead with two wins and two seconds for the season. Honda's Dani Pedrosa won the event while Lorenzo battled it out for 2nd with Andrea Dovizioso. Lorenzo is 25 points ahead of Pedrosa and Rossi is in 3rd place for the series title.

On the 2nd day of the series at Road America (Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin), Tommy Hayden (Rockstar Makita Suzuki) pulled off his his second career AMA Pro SuperBike win. Hayden beat Josh Hayes (Team Graves Yamaha), Day 1's winner, by the 0.178 of a second. Hayes holds a one point lead over Hayden in the AMA Pro National Guard SuperBike series. Also at Road America, Danny Eslick opened the new AMA Pro Racing Vance & Hines XR1200 Series with a win over Jake Holden in the debut on June 6.

Joe Kopp (Lloyd Brothers Ducati Motorsports Team) handed Ducati it's first AMA Pro Flat Track Grand National Championship win at the Budweiser Arizona Mile. It was an eventful day for flat tracking, since it was the first ever win for Ducati, the first BMW entry since 1954, and the first Kawasaki to make a main event since 1975. Sammy Halbert looked like a winner early on, but he ended up in a battle with Chris Carr, Kenny Coolbeth. and Jake Johnson for 2nd. Bryan Smith (Kawasaki) came in 17th and Matt Wait (BMW) finished 18th. Luke Gough (10th) and Chad Cose (15th) were riding for Suzuki and the rest of the field was all Harley.

Bryan Smith (Monster Energy Kawasaki/Werner Springsteen Racing) and pulled off Kawasaki's first-ever AMA Pro Grand National Twins Championship podium place (2nd) on Sunday at the historic Springfield TT on his Kawasaki Ninja 650R Jake Johnson won the event on his XR750 Harley Davidson. Henry Wiles (Monster Energy Kawasaki/ Jones Racing) rode his Kawasaki KX450F to a first place in the AMA Pro Grand National Singles Championship race.

Ryan Dungey took both motos on his Suzuki fuel-injected RM-Z450 at the AMA High Point Motocross National, making it 4-in-a-row for him and putting him solidly in the lead for the 450 class. Andrew Short and Bruce Metcalfe (both on Hondas) finished out the podium for the Pennsylvania event.

The first event of the American TTXGP series was held at Infineon Raceway in Sonoma, Calif and Shawn Higbee (Team Zero Agni) took 1st in the US's first all electric superbike race. Ten competitors were at the start of the race and eight finished the 11-lap event. Michael Barnes (Lightning Motorcycles) was in the lead for much of the first 8 laps, but when his "power management safety override" tripped, he was sidelined for 45 seconds waiting for the system to reset. Barnes came in 2nd, 18 seconds behind Higbee. Near the end of the race, Higbee had some electronic and battery problems of his own to manage. Thad Wolff (Team Electra) finished 3rd. Higbee's best qualifying time for the 2.28 mile track averaged speed about 77 mph. The AMA Superbikes that weekend were averaging 87 mph on the same course.

Mathias Kiwanuka Gives It Up
After his brother was seriously injured in a motorcycle crash, New York Giants defensive end, Mathias Kiwanuka, has decided motorcycling is too dangerous for him. Benedict Kiwanuka, 32-years old, was in critical condition after a motorcycle crash left him with internal injuries and several broken bones.

My Motorcycles: Suzuki TU250X

All Rights Reserved © 2009/2015/2021 Thomas W. Day

This started off as a "review" and a really brief one (see [Initial Review August 2009] below). In May of 2021, I stumbled into decent buy on a TU250X and bought it, after assuming that my motorcycling days were long gone. So far, I'm still here and I'm still occasionally riding. I had BIG touring plans for this summer after buying the bike in the spring but cataract surgery on both eyes ate up all of July and half of August and the upper body strength I lost during that long period when I was supposed to avoid lifting more than 10-25 pounds, keep my head above my waist as much as possible, and a whole other list of strenuous activities pretty much diluted my initiative and courage out of commission. I suspect I may regret missing out on that trip for the rest of my life. Of course, at my age that is not a long-term bet.

I have taken a few 100-250 mile rides on the TU250X and the bike performed wonderfully, so far averaging 87mpg mostly running at near full throttle anytime I'm outside of city limits. This is the first motorcycle I've owned since the 70's that allows me to be flat footed when I'm stopped. I haven't cared much about that for the previous 50-some years of motorcycling, long suspensions being more important to me than stopped stability, but I'm old, not particularly limber or strong, and considerable less stable than in the past and it is a nice feature/function at this point in my life. Vibration is minimal at the bars, foot pegs, and seat; at least it is reasonable and minimal to me. Engine noise is also minimal, I've been "complimented" a few times with "Wow! That bike is really quiet." Of course, most people just assume a motorcycle will be asshole-loud and that motorcyclists are obnoxious hooligans.

The speedometer, with stock tires, is "optimistic" at best. I ride with a GPS, so I know what my actual speed is and the speedo is about 7% faster than reality: 62mph indicated is about 55mph, for example. That said, cruising speed on the 250 on flat land without wind hindrance or assistance is about 55-65mph (max and in mild temps conditions). At that speed, the bike is incredibly easy to ride for long distances, with rest stops every hour or so. The passing "experience" is a throwback to my old VW Beetle days; plan on lots of space and no noticeable acceleration above 65mph. Even getting around farm implements is exciting and the only place I can ever pass a semi is on straight uphill sections.

Off pavement, the new handlebars made all the difference. I went from being tentative about turns, deep road sand and gravel, and wet sections to being irrationally confident that my old dirt skills would get me through most anything the road tossed at me. So far, so good. 

Maintaining the TU is almost an old school experience. Valve adjustments are the old-fashioned screw adjustment system, which means it needs to be checked every 3,000 miles, but the components are fairly easily accessed and it only takes about 30 minutes once you've gone through the routine once or twice. The air filter is just a coin-screwdriver away and the oil change routine is nothing complicated or odd, except for the oil screen which is hidden behind the filter frame (some TU owners don't know it is there). 

I added a USB charge port to the handlebars to power my Garmin and charge my phone. Bar vibration is lower enough that I can read the little Garmin maps on the fly. The GPS has Bluetooth, but I don't need it or want it talking to me while I ride. I read maps through the plastic case on my Darien's thigh for 30 years. I can deal with a handlebar GPS just fine.

May 2021 POSTSCRIPT:  As of May, this review turns into a "Bikes I've Owned and Loved (a lot or a little)" review. I bought a barely-used 2012 TU250X and now, I hope, this will turn into a long-term review of that motorcycle. Even after whining that I'd owned my last "customized motorcycle," I immediately started personalizing my TU. 

#1 Best Farkle: The T-Rex Racing "2009 - 2020 Suzuki TU250X Center Stand." Installing this thing is a 3-handed job, but well worth the effort. Suddenly, many difficult maintenance and touring operations are much easier. Lubing the chain, for example is possible a half-dozen different ways. 

#2: The Acerbis Dual Road  Handguards. For me, handguards are a must, but there isn't a lot of handlebar real estate on the TU. These guards solve that problem as well as it can be solved. They are a bar-end only attachment and with that limitation they robust and good protection for my hands and the bike controls. 

 #3: An old standby (for me), Oury Road/Street grips. These things have been on my street and dirt bikes for longer than I can remember. They soften the vibration and impact, add grip, add some diameter to the bars (easing arthritis pain and blood constriction), and stay where they belong until you cut them off. My comfort level on the TU dramatically improved by replacing the grips. The TU's throttle is inconveniently specifically designed for Suzuki's mediocre grips, who some Dremel carving is necessary where the handguard meets the throttle body.

#4: The stock cafe racer style bars are ok, on pavement, but I'm just not comfortable with narrow pullback bars. So, I replaced mine with Fly Racing Carbon Steel Honda CR bars, about 2" wider, straighter, and marginally lower. What a difference! The first time I was on gravel, the bike felt squirrely and a little unstable in 2-4" loose gravel and sand and I didn't feel like steering responded particularly well. Nothing else has changed, except the bars, and the bike is almost as solid off-pavement as my V-Strom or WR250X.

Stay tuned. If my eyesight and health holds up, me and this little 250 are going to go a few places.

[July 2015 POSTSCRIPT] 

 Last month, I added a little track time to my TU250X riding experience. What I learned from that is that the TU250X is a fully capable urban commuting bike. I still don't know what the top speed is, but it's got to be above 70mph because I hit that a couple of times on the Dakota Community Technical College straight-away and I had some top end yet to go before I bailed out and started braking before the chicane and carousel. A better rider would have gone faster and deeper into the corner before hitting the brakes. Regardless, the TU wasn't straining at 70mph and I had a good time on the bike and the course; meeting and exceeding all of my expectations.

Last summer, my brother bought a TU on my recommendation and, as of May 2015, he had 17,000 miles on the bike and has ridden it all over Arizona deserts, mountains, and back country. He still likes the bike and doesn't seem to feel the need for more power or status, since he's knocking down 70-90mpg regularly and saving a bucket of retirement cash in the process. His big complaint about the TU, after taking a Lake Superior Loop ride with me in 2011 and seeing how much insane fun I was having on my WR250X, was that his TU wasn't very good on gravel roads and, especially, steep gravel road hills around the lakes near his house in Arizona. So, I recommended a collection of tire options and he upped the "aggressiveness" of his tires and I haven't heard a word of dissatisfaction from him since. I remain jealous of his mileage, youth, and common sense.

[Initial Review August 2009] 

This will be a very limited review, since I've only "test ridden" the Suzuki on an MSF range. But it is a work in progress. I will find one of these bikes in licensed condition and I'll add that to the report. If I have to, I'll even buy the damn bike myself.

Suzuki's newest entry for 2009 was the TU250X; a 330 pound, air-cooled, fuel-injected, catalytic-converted, electric-starting, 82mpg, retro-looking, standard bike that is the kind of machine that riders have been wanting in every major motorcycle market in the world; except the US. This $3,800 bike has everything that an urban commuter could want. Most especially, the fuel-injection makes it friendly to new riders and those of us who are tired of the hold-your-mouth-just-right starting routines carbureted bikes require from us in cold weather. The 3.17-gallon fuel tank should provide close to a 250 mile range for most commuters.

Cosmetically, Suzuki went straight after the vintage-Brit-bike-lovers' market. Suzuki's marketing department describes the TU250X as a bike with "classic styling – including spoked wheels, a round headlight and low-slung tapered muffler." With its pin-striped red paint job, it reminds me so much of old small-bore BSA and Triumphs that it gives me flashbacks. The only obvious nod to the 21st Century is the front disk brake, but the rear brake is a competently functioning drum, just like the old days. 18" wheels, front and back, add something to the vintage appearance and help give the bike a neutral handling character. Turning or going straight, the TU250X doesn't resist change and it doesn't do anything unexpected. The Cheng-Shin tires suck, but the 90/90 and 110/90-18 tire sizes are available in Metzeler Lasertecs, Dunlop GTs, Conti Go! and Ultra TKV11/12 among other tire options.

The frame is silver-painted steel and is pretty rigid, if a little heavy feeling. The engine is a stressed-member of the frame and the square-tubed backbone adds to the frame strength. The rear suspension (3.7") is a traditional dual-shock rig, slightly canted. The moderately long (54.1") wheelbase of the bike makes it stable for all sorts of street use without being difficult to maneuver. The TU has a low (30") seat height, so it's accessible to riders of all heights. The twin-section seat puts the rider in sort of a neutral-cafe-racer posture. The independent passenger seat is reasonably large and comfortable, for a 250. Your feet are mildly bent, but the 27" wide straight bars put most riders in a slightly aggressive riding position. It works for a variety of riders, from 6' and a little over (see photo on right) to the rest of us (a 5'8" rider is pictured at left). A bar-mounted windshield would be a useful addition to the bike's aerodynamics and comfort.

The 249cc, 4-stroke, single-cylinder, air-cooled, SOHC, wet-sump engine is mostly straightforward. The cylinder is SCEM-plated (nickel-silicon-phosphorous) to reduce weight and increase heat transfer, just like most of Suzuki's competition off-road bikes. The motor is tied to a wide-ratio 5-speed transmission linked to the rear wheel by chain drive. The air filter is washable foam and is easily removed for service. The plug, oil filter, screw-and-locknut valve adjustments, and battery access are readily available and straightforward. The bike has a 3,000 mile service interval, including valves, so it's a good thing that it is reasonably easy to service. Well cared for, it ought to last tens-of-thousands miles. Suzuki puts a "12 month unlimited warranty" on the TU250X, to give buyers a bit of confidence in the model.

The bad news is that the TU250X is hard to find. My local dealer was given one for the season. One. More than 80 buyers signed up for first shot at the bike, but it vanished as it hit the floor when a walk-in customer snagged it. That's it for 2009's stock from that substantial Suzuki dealer. I know of one buyer who drove from Minnesota to Georgia to buy one.

The TU250X is, obviously, fitting a niche. In the rest of the world, it has been such a hit that Suzuki has been overwhelmed by the demand, which means the paltry small-bike US market is going to be even more starved for attention and inventory. The good news is, if you are really a vintage Brit bike fan, you'll miss the puddle of oil in your garage. Take that as a consolation for not being able to see, ride, or buy this cool little bike.

Product Review: Roadgear Toolbag

All Rights Reserved © 2007 Thomas W. Day

The highly attractive Roadgear Toolbag before I loaded it with gear and spoiled it with grease.

I'm a paranoid type, always assuming the worst will happen and that it will happen to me. My V-Strom came sans-toolkit, which gave me the opportunity to put together my own kit of good quality tools. First, I needed a place to put all the tools I'd want to carry. The Roadgear Toolbag is one of those things I spied at the Cycle World Motorcycle Show in 2007. t that time, I hadn't figured out what I needed for the Alaska trip, so I stored the information in my computer and, early this spring, I contacted the Roadgear folks (http://www.roadgear.com/) to get my hands on their toolbag.

The toolbag was a pretty little thing, when it arrived in the mail. The bag is made of heavy duty nylon that comes in a variety of colors. I picked gray, to match my 'stitch and my personality. The bag incorporates a pair of straps closed with nylon buckles into a logo-bearing carrying handle. That feature is more practical than you might think. There are nine assorted-sized compartments for tools, a large partition behind the tool holders, and three small Velcro-secured partitions to store sockets and small parts/tools in front.

Some of the stuff I stored in my Roadgear Toolbag, also after 10,000 miles of Alaska abuse.

I immediately began to stuff tools into the bag until I had most of the things I expected to need in a mechanical crisis and a package that would fit into the storage container I'd added to my luggage rack. The bag would have held a lot more stuff, but then it wouldn't have fit into my available space (the inside of a 4" PVC pipe). As it is, I had almost everything I wanted to carry wrapped into a neat and convenient package.

For a lot of reasons, this was the perfect setup. It forced me to assign places for each tool, making it difficult for me to misplace a tool during a field repair. If I put everything back the way I'd originally organized the bag, it would roll up into exactly the right size package for my storage container. The combination of custom container and the Toolbag gave me fast and easy access to my tools and that meant that I would do maintenance a lot more often.

After 14,000 very messy miles, I am almost tempted to pull the tools and send the Toolbag through the laundry. Almost. The Toolbag has proved to be tough, well-made, and functional. It was a terrific addition to my touring kit and I recommend it without reservation.

The FBI and the Outlaws

A couple of days ago, the FBI and ATF unsealed an indictment against 27 members of the Outlaws motorcycle gang. The gang's "National Boss," Jack Rosga, "Milwaukee Jack," and several officers of the gang were included in the indictment and arrests that were distributed across several states: Wisconsin, Maine, Montana, North Carolina, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Virginia.

From the FBI's website, "Those charged in the indictment include:

• Jack Rosga, aka “Milwaukee Jack,” 53, serves as the National Boss of the Outlaws organization and is also a member of the Gold Region, Milwaukee Wisconsin Chapter.
• Joseph Allman, 46, is an Outlaws member in the Red region and holds a position in the Maine Chapter, previously serving as President and Enforcer.
• John Banthem, aka “Bull,” 46, is an Outlaws member in Montana and is the president of a new prospect chapter in Montana.
• Thomas Benvie, aka “Taz,” 41, is an Outlaws member in the Red region and currently serves as President of the Maine Chapter.
• William Davey, aka “Rebel,” 46, is an Outlaws member in the Copper Region and was formerly the Chapter Enforcer in the Ashville, North Carolina.
• Mark Jason Fiel, aka “Jason,” 37, is a former Outlaws member in the Copper Region and a former leader in the Manassas/Shenandoah Valley Chapter.
• Mark Steven Fiel, aka “Snuff,” 59, is an Outlaws member in the Copper Region and serves as President of the Manassas/Shenandoah Valley Chapter.
• Chris Gagner, 37, is an Outlaws member in the Copper Region and serves as the President and Treasurer of the Asheville, North Carolina Chapter
• Harold Herndon, aka “Lil’ Dave,” 48, is an Outlaws member and is currently the Copper Region Vice President and member of the Lexington, North Carolina Chapter.
• Mark Lester, aka “Ivan,” 55, is an Outlaws member in the Knoxville, Tennessee Chapter and is served as the Boss of the Grey Region until early 2010.
• Brett Longendyke, 32, is an Outlaws member in the Copper Region and serves as the Manassas/Shenandoah Valley Chapter Enforcer.
• David Lowry, aka “Little David,” 49, is an Outlaws member and currently the Copper Region Boss and member of the Charlotte Chapter.
• Michael Mariaca, aka “M & M,” 50, is an Outlaws member and serves as the President of the Rock Hill, South Carolina Chapter and Copper Region Enforcer.
• Thomas Mayne, aka “Tomcat,” 59, is an Outlaws member in the Red Region and serves as the regional treasurer. Mayne formerly served as the Red Region Enforcer.
• Harry Rhyne McCall, 53, is an Outlaws member in the Copper Region, Lexington, North Carolina Chapter.
• Michael Pedini, aka “Madman,” 39, is an Outlaws member in the Red Region and a former Enforcer in the Northern Maine Chapter.
• Thomas Petrini, aka “Jo Jo,” 48, is a former Outlaws member in the Copper Region, Manassas/Shenandoah Valley Chapter.
• Michael Smith, 51, is an Outlaws member in the Copper Region and serves as the President of the Hickory, North Carolina Chapter.
• Mark Spradling, aka “Lytnin,” 52, is an Outlaws member and serves as Treasurer of the Copper Region.
• Christopher Timbers, aka “Alibi,” 37, is an Outlaws member in the Manassas/Shenandoah Valley Chapter of the Copper Region.
• James Townsend, aka “Vern,” 44, is an Outlaws member and President of the Lexington, North Carolina Chapter.
• Leslie Werth, aka “Les,” 47, is an Outlaws member and currently is the Vice President of the Rock Hill, South Carolina Chapter. Werth served as the Copper Region Boss until October 17, 2009.
• Brian McDermott, 50, is an Outlaws member of the Copper Region’s Hickory, North Carolina chapter.
• Charles Love, aka “Chuck” and Rebar,” 49, is a member of the Pagans Motorcycle Club from Amelia, Virginia.
• William Powell, aka “Torch,” 49, is a member of the Pagans Motorcycle Club from Lynchburg, Virginia.
• Charles Barlow, aka “Chuck,” 43, is a member of the Pagans Motorcycle Club from Chesterfield, Virginia.
• Dennis Haldermann, aka “Chew Chew,” 45, is a member of the Pagans Motorcycle Club from Chesterfield, Virginia.

Thomas Mayne, a regional treasurer for the Outlaws, was killed in a gunfight with ATF agents, when the agents attempted to arrest him. Kenneth Chretien , Mayne's brother-in-law, was subdued and arrested at the same location. Yesterday, a judge set Chretien free on $10,000 bond. Mayne was a suspected in an assassination attempt at a Hell's Angel clubhouse in Maine last October. He wore a "Nazi-style SS patch" that indicated he had performed a hit for the Outlaw gang.
Local and state police are notoriously impotent when it comes to confronting these violent characters and prosecuting them for crimes. All I can say is "Way to go Feds." I'm all for hauling back the military from Iraq and Afganistan and sending the whole US Army after these criminals.

Taking the Cat by the Horns

British Petroleum should take a lesson from Agip, the manufacturer of Hello Kitty synthetic oil. Agip's corporate logo, that six-legged cat at the bottom right of the can, is a brilliant advertisment for renaming problems as solutions. Microsoft and Apple have been telling us that software bugs are "features" for 30 years, it's not much of a leap to move air and water pollution into the same category.

"Yeah, our oil causes birth defects and a million other environmental problems, but look at the cute six-legged cat. Gotta love that, don't 'cha?"

And we probably do.

Not Much Fun?

All Rights Reserved © 2009 Thomas W. Day

"That can't have been much fun."

I'm getting to work on a late October morning. It was raining fairly hard on the way in, so my riding suit is dripping wet and I probably look like something the cat decided wasn't worth dragging in. A co-worker commented on the weather, the fact that I was still on the bike, and his impression of my appearance.

I looked worse than I felt. Yeah, it was cold and wet, but my 'Stich kept me dry. My helmet, heated vest, and the rest of my gear kept me warm. My piddling commute is probably barely worth suiting up for, but I do and most mornings I enjoy the ride in as much as anything that will happen to me all day. In fact, I felt pretty good. Any year that I'm still on the bike as Halloween approaches is a good year. It won't be long before would be condemned to a cage or the bus, but so far was still on two wheels. I get a little taste of faster-than-natural travel, feel the bite of the coming winter, enjoy a few moments of the sensation of moderate competence as I maneuver my bike through traffic and into the parking garage in the morning's rush hour, and start up my day with the mild charge that I always get from being a motorcyclist. It was, in fact, fun.

Motorcycling is a physical thing. That's some part of why it's hard to explain to a non-rider. Intellectually, riding a motorcycle is pretty hard to justify. We get pretty decent fuel mileage, but tires and other maintenance costs probably make up for that. We don't tear up the roads, require as much space, contribute to congestion, and a few other advantages but, mostly, motorcycles are a rare event on the highway and those of us who ride barely manage being a blip on the traffic radar. We're on our bikes because we want to be on a motorcycle more than we want to be warm, surrounded by a crumple zone, sucking on designer coffee, yakking on a cell phone, surrounded by a high fidelity sound system, or lounging in a plush bucket seat. You have to admit, that's weird. At least, I have to admit it.

That morning, I had a boat load of stuff to do. I got out of the house early, hit the library, stopped at a friend's house to drop off a project I'd finished over the weekend, took the long way to work through neighborhoods and side streets. I managed to turn a 7 mile commute into a 20 mile journey. It was raining, 42^oF, and in every way a dreary, depressing kind of morning. I, on the other hand, was having a terrific morning. I managed to hook first dibs on the new Elmore Leonard book at the library. I was pretty satisfied with the project that I'd been working on, but my customer/friend was blown away. I got paid and felt pretty good about it. The route I'd taken was pretty much traffic-free and I didn't have to mess with the usual culprits of cagers. How perfect is that?

I admit to being a little proud of the fact that I was doing something different every day. Something slightly adventurous. Something that takes a bit of skill to pull off day-after-day without incident or worse. It's arrogant or smug or conceited or damn silly, but I'm 62 and I don't get a lot of physical stuff to feel good about. I'm going to wallow in the few I get from here until . . . whenever.

Riding my motorcycle is just icing on the cake of living. Every day I get to ride somewhere is a pretty good day. So, screw the weather. Nuts to getting old. It might not look like fun, but it is. It is always fun.

All the News that Didn't Fit

More Biker Brawling
Residents of Minneiska, Minnesota watched while the Hells Angels and Outlaws motorcycle gangs fought it out on April 17th as one more episode of the Spring Flood Run soap opera played out. At least one biker was "cut and bloodied," but he claimed he "fell down." As the Trib asked, "If dozens of bikers from rival gangs scuffle in a parking lot in a small Mississippi River town and don't admit to it afterward, did it really happen?" One biker was legally carrying a concealed weapon and a pair (Nathan K. Houser, 29, of Burlington and Loren Francis Aikan, 63, of Madison, WI) were cited for possessing brass knuckles. No one was arrested. Highway 61, north of Winona, was closed for two hours as police questioned about 100 members of the Outlaws.

Rourke as Barger?
Just in time to correct any positive impressions the public may be forming about motorcyclists, Mickey Rourke is hoping to be part of a Tony Scott production of The studio was quoted claiming the part is "so perfectly tailored for Rourke that it is hard to imagine another actor who could more convincingly play a character who wears the hard miles and brawn of a grizzled biker gang veteran." Sonny Barger's life story in a new film tentatively titled Hell's Angels. Fox bought the rights to Barger's life story a decade ago, but is just now beginning to go into the development phase. Screenwriter Scott Frank has begun working on the project, with heavy rewriting of the original script, as a “Donnie Brasco-like drama.” A second major character will be a young cop infiltrating the gang. In 1983, before turning his face to pulp, Rourke played "The Motorcycle Boy" in Rumble Fish and "Harley Davidson" in the financial bust Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, so this could be yet another flashback moment for him.

Spanish Scrappage Plan
Spain is heading down the bankruptcy path that Greece has paved so thoroughly. However, Spanish motorcycles seem to have found the cash to take advantage of their country's Moto-E scrappage subsidy. In April, motorcycle sales increased 18% over the previous year. The Spanish AMA, ANESDOR, is urging the government to extend the Moto-E deadline to prop up the motorcycle industry.

Motorcycle Awareness Month in California
May was Motorcycle Safety Awareness Month by NHTSA proclamation (and National Digestive Disease Awareness Month, by Presidential decree), but the LAPD took a different tack in celebrating the month: by cracking down on motorcycle traffic violations. As announced on the LAPD's blog, "In support of Motorcycle Safety Awareness, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) will deploy extra officers throughout the month to patrol areas frequented by motorcyclists. Officers will also crack down on motorcyclist traffic violations and other vehicle drivers that lead to fatal or injurious motorcycle traffic collisions." The site stated that California motorcycle fatalities have increased 175% from 1997 to 2008 and at fault for that "dramatic increase were speeding and driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs by motorcyclists and other drivers."

Canadian Motorcyclists Join the Parking Protest
In protest of Vancouver's "zero-emission" parking spaces for electric scooters and motorcycles that exclude traditional motorcycles, 75 to 100 motorcyclists staged a parking protest that took up all of the spaces in a two block area of the popular Robson Street shopping district. The motorcyclists want more dedicated free spaces for motorcycles. The city has proposed special motorcycle spaces that would cost 1/2 the regular space rate. The entire city of Vancouver has only 42 motorcycle parking spaces. (More than downtown St. Paul and Minneapolis combined.)

Swedish vs. British vs. USA Motorcycle Safety Ads
Leave it up to the Swedes to produce an incomprehensible motorcycle safety ad. The Brits are a lot less subtle and infinitely more effective. Monty Python would be proud. I think. However, Michigan did us (the US) all proud.

RIP: Danny "Magoo" Chandler
Danny Chandler has died, at 50, from complications related to his paralysis. The AMA Hall of Famer, the winner of the U.S. 500cc Motocross Grand Prix, the first racer to win both the Motocross des Nations and the Trophee des Nations in the same year (1982), was a positive influence for everyone who knew him after the 1985 Paris Supercross crash that left him paralyzed. After several tough years (including a divorce and the death of both of his parents), Danny went back to work volunteering with DARE, organizing visits by top motorcycle racers to children’s hospitals through his International Riders Helping People organization, conducting his motocross safety program, and promoting mountain-bike races.

“In the long run the accident has left me a richer and fuller person. Had it not been for that I would just be another guy walking around. Now I have an interesting and compelling story to tell to the kids.”

Fingernail Painting Driver Is Convicted
Lora Hunt, the fingernail painting nurse, who ran a stoplight and killed motorcyclist Anita Zaffke in May of 2009, has been convicted of reckless homicide in a Lake County, Illinois courthouse. Her attorney, her attorney, Jeff Tomczak, argued that Hunt was a victim of sexual discrimination. He claimed she should have been on trial negligent homicide as she would have been for eating a sandwich or dialing her cell phone. "I do believe it is the underlying act of painting the nails that was the impetus for the charge," Tomczak said. "I haven't seen a reckless homicide charge for dialing a cell phone." (I didn't realize "two wrongs makes a right" was a valid legal defense.)

Prosecutor Mike Mermel argued, "It is not the same as biting a sandwich … it's a voluntary disablement. She might as well have been in the back seat making a sandwich."

Hunt will face as much as 5 years in jail or as little as a brief probation. She could be sentenced on June 15th.

Evel on Display
In an exhibit that will run from July 10 through September 6, the Harley-Davidson Museum will celebrate the life of "America’s favorite daredevil"; Evel Knievel. In the largest temporary exhibit the museum has ever attempted, Knievel’s life and legend will be featured in a 10,000 foot2 exhibit that will include "his signature leathers and cane, personal photographs and letters, collectors’ toys and memorabilia, and the rocket-inspired Skycycle X-2 used in Knievel’s infamous 1974 attempt to jump Idaho’s Snake River Canyon" and his favorite motorcycle, the Harley-Davidson XR-750.

Kawasaki Returns for the Police Dollar
After abandoning the police motorcycle market five years ago when the company dropped the KZ1000P, Kawasaki has returned with the 2010 Concours 14 ABS Police motorcycle. "All units are delivered with a tighter turning radius and custom law enforcement equipment, including: adjustable speedometer, a second wiring harness with 12 fused circuits and a separate battery dedicated to the add-on electronics installed by Beaudry Motors, Inc. An extensive selection of emergency equipment is available to satisfy agency requirements." Even with a $16-22k price tag, the 1352cc Concours is about $2,000 cheaper than the BMW or Harley competition.

Triumph Wants to 'Thank A Hero'
Triumph Motorcycles North America is offering up to a $750 discount to active U.S. Military service members. The company's "Thank A Hero" program is an attempt to "show our support for the sacrifices they make for all of us,” according to Jim Callahan, Triumph's North American Marketing Manager. “This is our way of saying ‘thank you’ for everything they do.”

Kawasaki's In-House Magazine Goes On-Line
Kawasaki's owners' magazine, Accelerate, has become an on-line 'zine. You can find it at http://accelerate.presspublisher.us/. Articles by Dr. Gregory Frasier and a variety of contributors are there, free for the reading.

Texas Motorcycle Cop's Bike Was on Recall
In January, Arlington, TX police Sgt. Craig Story struck a school bus with his Harley Davidson motorcycle and died of his injuries. The motorcycle was included in a December 2009 recall that warned of failure of the "front fuel-tank mounts, which can distort in crashes and cause fuel leaks and fires." Sgt. Story's motorcycle was scheduled for the repair at the time of the crash. While Story's motorcycle burst into flames, the department said there was no evidence that the fire contributed to Sgt. Story's injuries.

New Laws
April 12, Maine's Governor John Baldacci signed House Paper 1170 (An Act Relating to Road Noise), a bill that says "A person may not operate a motor vehicle in an area designated as a quiet zone by the department or the Maine Turnpike Authority and clearly identified as such by posted signs if the noise emitted by the motor vehicle exhaust system exceeds 62 decibels at a distance of 50 feet or greater." I wonder who that is aimed at?

Missouri House Bill 2421 would require "every applicant for a motorcycle license or endorsement shall show proof that he or she has successfully completed a motorcycle training course. . . "

New York Senate Bill 7302 "establishes the 'New York state consumers' right to repair act' which mandates automobile manufacturers to release vehicle repair information to vehicle owners allowing such owners to choose among competing repair facilities for the convenient, reliable and affordable repair of their motor vehicles." Senate Bill 7385 requires a motorcycle operator to keep both wheels on the ground at all times for a wheelie-free New York state. .

Deaths Down, Down Deaths, Down
According to the Governors Highway Safety Association, motorcycle fatalities were down 10% in 2009, from 5,290 in 2008 to approximately 4,762 in 2009. This was the first fatality drop in more than a decade, following the 2007 peak. You can find a copy of the study at http://www.ghsa.org/html/publications/spotlight/index.html. The reasons for the drop were explained to be "less motorcycle travel due to the economy, fewer beginning motorcyclists, increased state attention to motorcycle safety programs, and poor cycling weather in some areas."

GHSA Chairman Vernon Betkey said, “Clearly the economy played a large role in motorcycle deaths declining in 2009. Less disposable income translates into fewer leisure riders, and we suspect that the trend of inexperienced baby boomers buying bikes may have subsided.”

2010 NHTSA Recalls
BIG DOG 2004 Chopper, Bulldog, Ridgeback, Mastiff, Boxer, Pitbull: Loose connection between the harness connector and the electronic harness controller causes intermittent loss of power to headlamps a causes engine stall.

Politically Incorrectness

Ah, political correctness:. saying what shouldn't be said, calling things what they are, expecting common sense in a world that has made sense about as common as unicorns. A friend recently sent me a definition of "political correctness" that included the phrase "a doctrine . . . that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." (Credited on the WWW to a student from Texas A&M, the University of Melbourne, and several other institutions, including the US Army.) The rest of this definition included the delusion that political correctness is a property of liberals and that a minority is vested in this delusion, so I'm less than impressed with the whole. The part I quoted, however, seems pretty true.

My wife and I are deemed politically incorrect by our daughters and their husbands. One family is largely liberal and the other is very conservative. We're as incorrect to one as the other. Hence comes a portion of my belief that political correctness is one of those perspectives that depends on the viewer. Rush Limbaugh and his cronies have just as many untouchable subjects as do the most radical of the left, those topics are just found in different areas. In other words, both groups display typical "common sense" in their touchiness.

In a discussion about gayness, one of my daughters suggested that "no one" would "choose to be outcast" by a substantial portion of society. I'm not disputing the biological aspects of gayness, but I suspect (and always have) there there is a portion of nurture involved in most human qualities and decisions. Nature, while powerful, doesn't have much more power than does nurture. I know that's politically incorrect, but I'm too old to care.

In my eyes, this politically correct position was particularly funny coming from a woman who shaved her head (when not dying it a variety of florescent colors), spiked her nose, ears, and other body parts with all sorts of odd sharp objects, tattooed herself with a ball point pen, and did everything she could to make herself as strange looking as possible from age 15 until her early 20's. Knowing my own history as a 60's long-haired hippy freak, you'd have thought some aspect of discontinuity might have struck her during this proclamation.

In our speck of American culture, motorcyclists are packed with these sorts of intentional social rejects. The most obvious is the Harley gangbanger crowd. The majority of society looks at these folks as outcasts, even other motorcyclists. Why anyone would want to dress-up like characters out of a 1950's B-movie escapes me, but a substantial portion of the wanna-be crowd is really into looking like society's unwashed and unwanted and unemployed. There must be a strong call to those who can't find acceptance in polite company to make a sincere effort to find a home wherever they can. If that's true for punks and bikers, I can't help suspect it might be true for other outcast micro-cultures.

Once a group finds enough members to create critical mass, that group begins campaigning everyone else to grant their different-ness with proper respect. If respect isn't possible, fear seems to suffice. A group can leverage fear in a variety of ways: threatening legal action, threatening popular condemnation, or with violence. Fear rarely turns into respect, regardless of the tactic, and many of these groups continue to alienate the majority without a thought for the fact that fear is closely related to hate. Generating hate usually backfires.

The gangbanger motorcyclist attitude is creating that sort of back-pressure for motorcycling in general. In promoting their threatening, law-disobeying lifestyle, air and noise polluting "rights," and a lousy safety record on public roads, Harley's corporate image and the company's fans are spilling over into motorcycling in general. We're becoming as easy a bad guy stereotype as the Mob, IRS, FBI, CIA, and Arab terrorists. When an author or screenwriter wants to whip out an easy character to hate, a biker is as likely to come to mind as is any other culturally negative stereotype. I just finished John Stanford's Storm Prey and, for the 4th time in this 20-book series, bikers are among the bad guys. Stanford doesn't even have to work to create believable, crazy-vicious, stupid motorcycle characters. They just flow from the page without a hint of lost credibility. If you know these guys in real life, you know they are just as sociopathic and worthless as Stanford draws them.

In the not-so-long-run, this connection to the majority or motorcyclists is going to cost motorcycling a lot of rights and privileges. Our lame "representative," the AMA, is trying to handle this turd by what it hopes is the clean end. But as long as motorcyclists allow bikers to cling to some corner of "respectable motorcyclists" we're all getting tarred with a black leather brush. I'm starting to think that motorcycle commuters and touring riders need their own organization, one that seperates itself from the cruiser crowd and returns to Honda's successful "you meet the nicest people" sort of image-making. The boys in bandannas and leather can whine about how they are politically incorrectly seen as gangsters and bums, but the rest of us should serious consider what linking our means of transportation to their gangbanger activity does to/for motorcycling.

Think about it.

Standing in Line

All Rights Reserved © 2007 Thomas W. Day

Here's a brief personality test: you're standing in line at a big-box store, asking for the assistance of a "sales associate." That employee is carrying a telephone which rings in the middle of the conversation and the salesperson says, "I have to take this, excuse me." What do you do?
Here's another scenario: you're zipping down a two-lane highway, having a fine time playing with your two-wheeled vehicle/toy when you come upon a dozen or more bikers in a staggered-line parade. As is typical of this kind of demonstration, they have spaced themselves in a precision "rolling bowling pin" formation that doesn't allow for passing unless you are willing to pass all of them at once or you have the skill/risk-immunity to fit yourself into the small spaces allowed between bikes as you ladder-step your way past the wannabe-Shriners highway obstacle course. What do you do?

I think both of these situations are some kind of Rorschach personality test, but I don't know what the results mean. In the first instance, I would walk away and find another salesperson or a different place to buy what I want to buy. I know that insanely stupid big-box company managers require floor employees to "service everybody, all the time." So, the salesperson is doing his/her job, as directed, by answering the phone and leaving you two twiddle your thumbs while you wait for the telephone conversation to end and hope the phone doesn't ring before you get the information you need. However, anyone who thinks a telephone "virtual customer" is more important than a live, in-store, with cash-in-hand customer is too dumb for my money and time. I don't care where the store CEO's mommy bought his MBA, that's stupid logic.

In the second scenario, if I'm just out for a ride, I look for another road to travel rather than making the monster pass or the precision step-pass. If I'm in a hurry, one or the other passing tactic is the choice. Better yet, I wait for someone in an SUV to pass me, then pass or breakup the bowling pins so that I have a little more space to work with. Regardless, my tolerance for certain kinds of motorcycles and motorcyclists gets reduced, a little more, every time I experience this kind of road arrogance. Eventually, at this rate and if I live long enough, I'll be as pissed off about motorcycle road blocks as the rest of the driving population. For now, I can still see the humor in another demonstration of declining human intelligence.

As an MSF instructor, at the beginning of each season we have the pleasure of attending a sign-up "conference" where we stand in line for several hours, waiting to sign up for the classes we want to teach in the spring, summer, and fall. The line is semi-sorted by instructor senility (using the usual "honor system" that, in these modern United States, works only slightly more effectively than when Germans used "honor" to sort out gas chamber patrons). If an instructor wants to teach more than a couple of classes during the season, he or she will have the pleasure of working through the line several times. Honestly, it's mostly a fair system and, if one hadn't been exposed to the technology advances that have occurred in the last 40 years, it would seem to be "efficient."

Standing in line simply grates against one of my pet peeves. Actually, lines in general, of all sorts, in any situation, drive me nuts.

A decade in Southern California taught me more than I want to know about the "human herding instinct." What finally drove me from the beach, a state with lane-splitting and filtering, year-around motorcycling weather, and friends and family and a great job, were . . . lines. I will walk a mile to avoid a three-person-long line. I will abandon a cart full of groceries that took me an hour to collect if I have to wait in line for more than a few minutes. I will take dead end two lane exits, go off-road (including through alleys, across lawns and golf courses, down or up freeway ditches, and damn near off of a cliff) to avoid having more than a couple of vehicles in front of me. I have changed the destination of vacation trips when I found myself stuck in traffic. I have slept in a tent, my car, buses, and train or airport depots when my hotel reservation required standing in a line of suits waiting for an over-taxed clerk to wrestle with a hotel chain's crappy computer system.

I freakin' hate lines.

Because of this personality weirdness, I rarely see movies in the first release week (I usually wait for Netflix to put the movie in an envelope and mail it to me). I rarely go to concerts or sporting events. I am totally disinterested in popular restaurants. I spend a lot of my daily commute traveling through neighborhood streets rather than more efficient freeways. While politicians see congested freeways as an opportunity to waste more money on asphalt, I see traffic as evidence that I need to send another $100 to Planned Parenthood and ZPG. There are too freakin' many people and, even worse, there are too damn many people between me and where I want to go.

Many motorcyclists and a statistically equal number of motorcycle instructors like to stand in line. What else would you call those lines of hippo-bikes jamming up traffic, violating community noise standards, and stacked in front of bars and restaurants? Gotta be line-lovers. Apparently, a fair number of instructors consider their time in line as "opportunities to network" and "social events." Wow! I either have a way better social and personal life than I thought or I'm lacking in the gene that leads humans to gather in packs, herds, crowds, and lines.

Social scientists who study animal resources have spent a lot of energy determining the square acreage or mileage that a given animal needs to be healthy and sane. An obvious and true result of that study has found that the further up the food chain an animal climbs, the more resources (read space) that animal requires. Hence, predators need a lot more territory than herbivores. Omnivores, like us, fall somewhere between being comfortable in small groups (chimps and baboons) and requiring moderate space or being incredibly solitary and requiring mountains (literally) of space (gorillas and orangutans) for the "elbow room" required to remain sane and healthy.

The top of the food chain, we'd like to think, is occupied by humans. Based on the modern urban experience, we may be as dumb and far down the food chain as Mark Twain suspected (read "The Lowest Animal") because we allow ourselves about as much territory as a hill of oversized ants. Can you think of another animal that tolerates standing in line for a morsel of food? How about sitting in line (in a cage) or standing in line (in a bus or train) for hours to get to a place where we'll stand or sit in place for hours so we can earn enough credit to sit in line (in a cage) to drive to a store where we can stand in line to exchange credit for food? There may be no other animal on earth that passive or unaware of the need for livable conditions. Mr. Clemons was an optimist.

How long do the lines have to get before we realize that overstuffing this planet to standing-room-only is going to reduce worthwhile riding (and living) territory to nothing? Pretty soon, I won't be able to find an alternative Twin Cities route that allows me to escape from the roaring mindless mass of humanity. Then what? Whatever happens, you know that you won't have me to kick around, if you're standing in line. I'll find a nice cave in the mountains to spend my leisure years.

Funnier than Comedy

The boys, Trey and Matt, explain their rationale for "The F-Word." It's even funnier than the original show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gYIAudAzjo.

Those dudes are an inspiration. Years ago, I read a Guitar Player Magazine interview with Tom Petty. He was talking about "maintaining an edge" in a world where every comfort, every desire, every thing he might want was available because he was a rich, famous rock star. In that world, writing about things that matter to real people is damn close to impossible. Petty said all he had to do to find something to write about was to look out a window (plane, train, tour bus, hotel room, or whatever) and look at what's going on in the real world. He'd find something to be pissed off about and go at it.

Matt and Trey are the gods of finding shit to be pissed off about. Role models for any writer trying to say something worthwhile.

Loud Pipes Are Powerful Fun

All Rights Reserved © 2009 Thomas W. Day

People who worry about the future of motorcycling are particularly concerned that the statement being made by a blasting motorcycle exhaust is going to be the death of the industry and the activity on public roads. Proponents of this noise pollution like to claim that "loud pipes save lives," but the evidence for that claim is weak to non-existent. Obviously, if it's true for motorcycles it should be true for small cars, medium sized-cars, buses, and every other highway user and, if one motor vehicle gets to claim that "safe ground," everybody will want a piece of the action. The trend is going the other way. Most industrialized societies have had more than enough of noise pollution and the public is not going to take much more of it. Noisy motorcyclists may claim discrimination, but it's easy to argue that, outside of emergency vehicles, motorcycles are consistently the loudest vehicles on the highway and the least useful.

Anyone familiar with manufacturing and quality systems knows that you don't go after all of your problems at once. Even the federal government doesn't have unlimited resources. One tactic is to use the Pareto Effect, which states "80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes." When it comes to peak traffic noise, improperly and illegally muffled motorcycles top the 20% list. We can whine about being picked on, but logic would dictate we get hammered first. Since evidence points out the fallacy in the connection between loud pipes and safety, the only reason left for making that kind of noise is recreational.

If safety isn't a useful reason to be noisy, why are so many motorcyclists so damn loud? I think the most likely reason is, "Loud pipes are power." Jimmy Page once argued that electric guitar was the coolest musical instrument because "with a flick of a pick, you can drive 100,000 fans deaf." That's power. Similarly, with the twist of a wrist an untalented, uninteresting working class man or woman can nearly deafen everyone within a few dozen yards. At the least, you can irritate people for a mile in every direction of your exhaust. For people who are powerless in their everyday lives, this kind of clout isn't something to sneeze at.

Loud pipes are a statement of freedom. Again, flaunting the law, good manners, and the opinions of people who otherwise might be able to control your life, a noisy motorcycle is a way to "stick it to the man," even if "the man" is your neighbors, your community, and the rest of society. Loud pipes are a giant middle finger held high above the din of a boring life. It's hard to argue someone out of their "right" to make that kind of statement. Hard, but not impossible. When the statement is made so broadly, hitting the people you want to offend and everyone else, it's not hard to imagine a rapid succession of legal events that could shut down a lot more than just loud motorcycles.

A while back, a trio of Canadian goofballs were fined $16,000 for filming themselves shooting ducks from their car. The Canuck boneheads posted a video of themselves on YouTube "laughing and firing at least 42 rounds from a high-powered rifle into a large pond filled with ducks and grebes." One of the three compounded the stupidity by saying. "We thought we were just having fun — really immature, stupid fun, you know?"

Same story, different device. Blasting the highway with omnidirectional, illegal, unnecessary noise is "really immature, stupid fun." I know. Tolerance for immature, stupid fun is vanishing in our overcrowded world. When that noise produces absolutely no value for anyone, even the dumbest biker ought to know how this is going to work out. One of the goofy duck-blasting Canucks apologized by saying, "“We should have known better but we didn’t, and for that I am sorry.” All motorcyclists are going to be apologizing for the actions of a few who didn't know better and aren't bright enough to quit their destructive behavior. Like ignorance, stupidity is a poor legal defense.

Your Opinion, My Opinion

All Rights Reserved © 2009 Thomas W. Day

On a web mail list, I stumbled into a discussion about air filters and it quickly turned into a pissing match between a guy who hated everything about the brand of filter that I've used for almost 30 years and he was pretty unimpressed with all other filtration options. I was a little put off by the dude's venom, so I bailed out of the discussion and fired up my word-processing software to write this column.

In my life, I have been rightly described as someone who is overly-dependent on personal experience and practical application. I'm all for science and theory, as long as it doesn't get between me and getting something done, but I'm not dependent on the advise of sanctioned experts or popular opinion. I've personally known quite a few of the folks the media uses for expert opinions and I'm not particularly impressed. They are all good men and women, but just like you and me they have opinions and their opinions are no more founded in fact than yours or mine. Sometimes, less so. In the end, if something I've been doing has worked for me, I'll keep doing it even when the experts claim it doesn't work. I'd rather spend my time fixing the things that are broke and the things that aren't will get my attention in my next life; the life where I will be born rich and with lots of idle time on my hands.

Sometimes, even well-intentioned scientifically conducted studies don't impress me. Of course, some scientific studies don't live up to the name, either. (I wasted a decade in medical device manufacturing and saw more of that kind of science than I want to think about.) Often, the constraints of a study limit the value of the study to rare conditions. For example, if a rat has a forced daily diet of one-fourth of his body weight in a given substance, he will get fat. Therefore, said given substance is fattening. Yeah, I'll keep that in mind the next time I sit down to a 50pound dinner.

In the case of the aforementioned air filter discussion, the one and only test I found on the subject assumed the user would improperly clean and prepare the filter and, therefore, the filter would be ineffective. On the other hand, I have subjected my bikes to above average dirt road and trail exposure and have seen no signs that my applications of this same filter are allowing above factory filter contamination into the engine. In fact, I have seen signs of contamination on the intakes of other bikes using stock or aftermarket paper filters that I never seen in my bikes. I was told that a poorly functioning filter won't necessarily leave signs on the intake manifold. 2-strokes, especially, tend to produce dust accumulation on the manifold, since the fuel-oil mixture provides a little glue for the contamination. Obviously, engine wear would increase with poor filtration, too. I see those signs of air filter failure on others' bikes when I maintain them, I don't see it on mine, for what it's worth.

I do not know what it's worth. I only know that I'm likely to change my behavior when I see evidence that what I'm doing doesn't work. The older I get, the less inclined I am to experiment with things that seem to work for me.

On the practical side, when I go on a long, backroads trip I don't worry about being able to find a clean filter after a couple thousand miles of dirt roads. All I need is a little soap, warm water, and a small can of filter oil. I don't need a Suzuki dealer, of which there seems to be a short supply in Canada or Alaska or North Dakota, for example.

In the mid-70s, when I first started using this brand of filter, a cross country race in western Nebraska provided a pretty severe test. About twenty miles into 120, the racers got hammered with a dust storm so thick that it was hard to see twenty feet ahead. In the dusty valleys, visibility dropped to less than ten feet. It was a Dust Bowl quality storm, a huge black cloud of sand and dirt that rose out of the southwest horizon and swept over the land like some kind of Hollywood supernatural evil. On top of the dust, the terrain was difficult and dry and the race would have been dusty, even without the storm. With the storm, bikes fell to the side of the road --sputtering and dying--like diseased animals in a plague. When I finished the first lap, I stopped to replace my choked up goggles and my wife and daughters got a kick out of my racoon-eye'd appearance. My mouth and nose were full of dirt, and I spit out the first half-gallon of water I tried to drink as it turned to mud in my mouth.

I took of for the second lap as the storm really turned ugly. About halfway through that lap, the event organizers threw in the red flag and called the event. Out of the original 50-or-so bikes, there were about a dozen of us still running. We cut across the course in a blizzard of dirt and fumbled out way back to our cars and trailers.

Some racers headed for Ogallala, where they planned to hide out in a bar or motel until the storm passed. I had to be back at work on Monday, so I pointed my car east and hit the freeway trying to out run the storm. A few miles later, my car's hydraulic clutch died. Both the master cylinder and the slave were seriously leaking fluid. Without a clutch and towing a trailer, getting back on the road was a hassle, but I had enough fuel to get home and planned to run every stop sign and light that didn't cooperate with my objective. Fifty miles later, my brakes became suspiciously soggy, but they still worked and I escaped the storm and made it home without any additional problems.

After repairing the clutch and brakes on the car and hauling a bucket of sand and dust out of the interior, I started getting the bike ready for the following Sunday. When I pulled the top off of the bike's filter box, I was amazed to see how much dust surrounded the filter. It was nearly buried. To keep from pouring crud into the cylinder, I pulled the whole air box off and dumped it out before removing the air cleaner for service. Still, not a speck of dust to be found in the intake manifold. I raced the bike for another year, sold it to a friend, and it lasted one more year off road before it died. The little Rickman ended up in the old motorcycles graveyard because the new owner tossed the air filter when it became so packed with river sand that the bike stalled. He almost made it back home before the motor seized. I don't know what that proves.

I've been using the same brand of air filters for exactly the opposite reason on my cars (older cars, anyway) and dirt bikes since the 1970s and I'm always amazed at how clean my intakes have been after some really nasty events and LD rides. Maybe it's the preparation and maintenance that bothers others? I put 380k miles on a 1973 Toyota HiLux pickup over 20 years and it was running strong when I sold it. Its whole life was spent with a the same filter. My CX500 gave me 130k miles with only a timing chain problem all with the same filter. All of my dirt bikes, from an OSSA Phantom to a Yamaha XT350 to my current 250 Super Sherpa breathe through that brand. So does my current bike, a Suzuki DL-650. I just have no motivation to change, so until some catastrophe inspires me to amend my opinion I'm sticking with what has worked for me.

I'm not trying to convince you to go with my brand. I'm not trying to convince you of anything except that the old adage "don't fix what ain't broke" isn't a bad way to go. It's not rocket science, but that's not all it's cut out to be either.