Sep 22, 2012

6 Things Nobody Tells You About Owning a Motorcycle

This Cracked Magazine article, "6 Things Nobody Tells You About Owning a Motorcycle,"starts with "Due to recent financial hardships, I had to trade in my beloved old truck. In its stead, I got myself a motorcycle." If he'd have asked us, we could have told him that didn't make sense. Somehow, Ezekiel Buchheit, got the crazed idea that owning a motorcycle is an economy thing.

His first big thing is one I've never worried about or noticed; spiders and other bugs. I guess I'm not girly enough to pay attention to stuff I can squash with one finger. So, we know Buchheit isn't a tough guy. I'm not entirely sure Ezekiel is a guys' name, so maybe I should have expected girly behavior.

His next deal is a panic about not being able to trigger stop lights. Followed by complaints about waving at other motorcyclists, the disturbing realization that when you are out in the elements those urban elements are often grossly polluted and it gets on you. He discovered that motorcycles are "invisible" to the distracted driving public. And being a newbie with minimal talent, experience, or common sense, he thinks he's expert enough to comment on lane splitting, a traffic standard everywhere but here in the home of Marching Morons.

So, the article is funny, sort of stupid, occasionally insightful, and written by someone who will be back in his cage as soon as he can afford one.

4 comments:

  1. " the article is funny, sort of stupid, occasionally insightful, and written by someone who will be back in his cage as soon as he can afford one."

    Pretty well sums up Cracked.com, actually... (though I've met two of their writers, and I'm not convinced they shouldn't be kept in locked cages for the good of humanity...)

    Did you see the follow-up article, "4 insane things nobody tells you about riding a motorcycle"? Much the same, and still entertaining.

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  2. Rick Holtsclaw aka Psycho Cop9/22/12, 10:19 PM

    Hello Da Geezer, you actually took my "noise cop" blog off your site? Thought I was "free to set [you] straight"? Is that anyway to treat a fellow biker? Rick Holtsclaw AKA Psycho Cop

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  3. This is unrelated, but it may be the most appropriate product I've ever seen for its demographic.

    http://www.amazon.com/Full-Face-Mask-Crashtest-Dummy/dp/B00466TZJQ/ref=sr_1_89?s=automotive&ie=UTF8&qid=1348372722&sr=1-89

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous,

    I don't know what to say. It's almost impossible to imagine who would wear something like that, but I suspect they are selling. Supposedly, P.T. Barnum said, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the public."

    Rick,

    Someone who visits this blog convinced me, a while back, that Mark Twain was right, Anonymous,

    I don't know what to say. It's almost impossible to imagine who would wear something like that, but I suspect they are selling. Supposedly, P.T. Barnum said, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the public."

    Rick,

    Someone who visits this blog convinced me, a while back, that Mark Twain was right, Anonymous,

    I don't know what to say. It's almost impossible to imagine who would wear something like that, but I suspect they are selling. Supposedly, P.T. Barnum said, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the public."

    Rick,

    Someone who visits this blog convinced me, a while back, that Mark Twain was right, “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Once you decided to dip into insults and superstition, I figured there wasn't any value added for my readers. If you bothered to read this blog, you'd find that most of the people here and me are ardent opponents of loud exhaust noise, lousy riding skills, public endangering hooliganism, or the usual biker gangster stuff. Grouping us in that crowd just doesn't add anything of value to the discussion.

    Like Obama, I get pounded on one side because I'm too motorcycling (and otherwise) liberal and on the other because I'm too conservative. That probably means we're in the middle, but unlike Obama, I don't give a damn what the public thinks because I'm not trying to do anything other than entertain myself. I'm not trying to save the motorcycling world because I don't think humans, in general, are worth saving. We defecate in our drinking water, for crap's sake. How dumb can we get? Birds are smart enough to kick their brats out of the nest, but we let the damn things burrow into our basements and live there until they are senile.

    So, from here out. No religious/superstitious crap on this blog, even if it's religious crap about motorcycles. One reason I don't like old bikes is because they have wood parts. I don't want to be around something someone might want to knock on for luck. I don't go for witch burning or Christ crucifying or deep oil and gas fracking. Anything that depends on superstition for its existence is off limits. Anyone who pretends to know the mind(s) of any god(s) is someone I want to be as far from as possible because you never know when the voices in their tiny heads might say "Kill 'em all."

    Motorcycle noise is real and a problem. We can talk about that.

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Disagree? Bring it on. Have more to add? Feel free to set me straight.(Spammers get serious. Spam goes straight to trash and is never read.)