Jul 2, 2012

The Right to be an Idiot?

The Myrtle Beach geniuses who stage the Suck Bang Blow gangbanger beer bash are claiming being a bozo is a Constitutional right. Their argument is that doing burnouts and other retarded activities is their customers' way of “expressing their manliness and macho, as all males are prone and inclined to do to a greater or lesser degree.” Of course, holding on to a brake lever while applying limited horsepower to a motorcycle tire and spewing pounds of pollution is a pretty poor description of "macho," unless you're a cruiser dude on a girls' bike. But if you're really macho-disabled, do the burnout in a pit with the front wheel pinned to a wall, Suck Bang Blow-style. (And now you know why the bar is named.)

The actual "macho" portion of this activity is being tough/dumb enough to want to inhale the toxic pollution generated in melting a tire. The riding part is just dumb.

Regardless of the marginal macho quality of this brainless biker standard, the Murrells Inlet biker bar is suing Horry County for attempting to limit the bar's clients' brainless activities. Supposedly, burnouts are a First Amendment right, Suck Bang Blow “believes that providing these expressive performances to the public is a beneficial social activity which enhances individuals’ conscious ability to assimilate.” I suspect that some basic human quality would be a more useful way to assimilate, but you have to go with what you have. When all of the ditch digging jobs have gone to migrants and machinery, what's left for a rich dirtbag to do but sue?

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