May 18, 2012

Smacking Home

On the way to an MSF class Wednesday, I got stuck behind a big-ass clubcab pickup and witnessed the cell phone abusing retard wobbling all over Rice Street until he rear-ended a guy on a cruiser. The cruiser guy didn't get much "protection" from his loud pipes, even though I could hear him two vehicles back, through my helmet, with ear plugs solidly in place. Adding noise to the already unhealthy noise levels of the world is a pretty passive-aggressive tactic and passive-aggression is well known to be ineffective.

The definition of "bimbo." Evidence 
that drivers' licenses are handed out
in Cracker Jack boxes. 
It looked like the cell phone douche was planning to duck out, so I made a show of scribbling his plate number down before I parked to look at the damage. There was a lot of damage, but the biker's injuries looked survivable if disfiguring. His face was pretty messed up. A nurse from a car on the other side of the road was doing first aid and she'd already called 911.

Two of my top five warning signs of 
driving incompetence. A baseball cap
and a cell phone.
Ten minutes, or so, later, a Ramsey County Sheriff's Deputy showed up and started collecting information. That's what I was waiting for. We had a brief conversation during which I called the truck-cell-phoner a liar (He'd claimed not to have a cell phone in the truck.) I offered to testify against him, if the cop searched his truck for the phone (which he found and confiscated). Supposedly, smashing into someone while jabbering on a phone is at least $500 over the usual fine, so that ought to be an expensive phone call.


  1. Good for you, Geezer.

    BTW, can't find you on Facebook. What's the URL link?


  2. You were in the right place at the right time and able to do something. Thank-you.

  3. I live in a very busy small touristy city with tight streets and lots of bars and restaurants. It is appalling to see anyone and everyone wobbling down the street watching the cell phone or texting with the phone in their laps. Au contraire to the stereotype of the bimbos being the worst offenders, though I haven't been counting, it is the business types (white shirt and tie), the working men in the pick up trucks, the guys driving the big trucks, and the police that seem to be the worst offenders. The closest calls I have had were contracotrs in pickups who seem to always be on the phone.

  4. I have, officially, abandoned Facebook. Once the treasonous little assholes who lucked into that social network fad decided their obligation to the country that made them filthy rich wasn't worth citizenship, I dumped my link to FB. So far, I'm not missing the time I spent linking my blog to my FB page.

    I don't know who the "worst offenders" are, but I do know that my definition of bimbo is anyone more interested in makeup and a cell phone conversation than the her 4,000 pound vehicle's direction of travel. I can't tell a "contractor" from a moron in a pickup with a cell phone, so you could be right. Even the cops are beginning to complain about the level of distraction all of their electronics is producing. $10 gas might be the only solution to all of this crap.

  5. Hi Thomas,

    Despite the danger, I thought you might like this link There should be a bit of 'grudge' mileage in it.




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