Sep 13, 2014

I Second that Motion

Noah Horak recently wrote “An Open Letter to the Motorcycle Industry” blasting the suits who decide we need bigger, heavier, less adventurous “adventuring touring” hippos instead of ride-able motorcycles that are actually capable of going places a Cadillac Escalade can’t go. Here are just a few of the right on things Horak had to say about the recent collection of bullshit two-wheel, Land Rover-clone, hippobikes disguised as off-road capable:

“Adventure is a word thrown around so freely in the motorcycle industry now, I am not sure you remember what a true adventure actually is.”

“If you can not pick up your bike fully loaded in any situation, it is not an adventure bike.”

“Most of the air cooled 650s are great bikes, but they are all in desperate need of a update. So there is basically the choice between DRZ400 and KTM 690.”

“The formula is easy: less then 150 kilos, good tune-able off-road suspension, around 50 hp, fuel injected, liquid cooled, and at least a 7500 km oil change interval. A 500 km fuel range would be icing on the cake.”

Suddenly, I don’t feel so much like the only guy saying, “This king is as naked as the last dumbass.”


  1. Couldn't agree more.
    Nowadays most people's idea of adventure is to get out of their car and walk into Starbucks, not go through the drive through. That is who the suits are aiming these hippos at.

  2. Years ago, I watched a guy detail Stan Miller's safari-equipped Land Rover and, when he was done, he applied a little decorative "dirt" with a spray can. I think that's who oversized "Adventure bikes" are aimed at.


Disagree? Bring it on. Have more to add? Feel free to set me straight. Unfortunately, Blogger doesn't do a great job of figuring out which Anonymous commenters are actually real people, not Russians or Chinese bots. I'm pretty ruthless about spam-labeling anonymous posts. If you have something worth saying, you shouldn't be afraid of using your ID.