We're All Dead

The election is close and, according to the douchebags who tell us what we think, the only people left in the country who haven't made up their simple little minds are "swing voters." In this election cycle, those voters are "young white women without college degrees who have an annual household income of less than $50,000." (Most of them make way less than $50,000.) In otherwords, those braindead, tailgating bimbos who scare the crap out of everyone on the highway with their general, all-purpose incompetence are going to decide who will drive the remains of the United States of America over a cliff. Stephen Cobert tried to interview one of these decision makers and even he was frustrated by her vapidness. We are so screwed.

The only upside possible here would be if the candidates had to grovel so completely to this demographic that they had to promise Washington DC jobs for all of them. The IQ of the rest of the country would jump an easy 10 points, even in the Southeast, and Washington can't get any dumber.