Roundabouts: A Rolling IQ Test

You know who hates roundabouts/traffic circles? Old people, dumb people, incompetent drivers, and rural goobers (redundant, I know). The rules are simple: “Yield to vehicles already in the roundabout. Merge into the traffic flow when it is safe. Continue through the roundabout until you reach your exit. Do not stop or pass in a roundabout." What do you have to do to obey those rules and to move smoothly through a traffic circle, pay fucking attention to what is happening around you.

I have identified the short list of those who are baffled by those rules. If you are one, you should toss your drivers’ license, sell your car, buy a nice pair of walking shoes and a bus pass, and stay the fuck off of public roads, including crosswalks since you probably don’t know how those work either.

Roundabouts are statistically proven to be safer for everyone, even if they do raise the blood pressure of the above-mentioned group of nitwits. They are safer for cars, bicyclists, pedestrians, and even nearby buildings (since these same morons often find ways to crash into houses and businesses, too). Anyone who walks or rides a bicycle near traffic knows that most cagers barely acknowledge the existence of stop signs and, even, stop lights. The louder the exhaust pipe, the bigger the tires, and the older the driver, the less likely that person is to even slow down a bit before barreling through a sign or light. It’s tough to do that in a traffic circle. Even better, when one of these inbred morons waddles aimlessly into a roundabout, everyone else involved has a fighting chance to avoid them because of the reduced speeds, greater demand for wider traffic observation, and increased idiot-exposure.

No, I don’t love them, but I used to really like yield signs and highway safety experts learned, several years ago, that the whole “right-of-way rules” concept was too complicated for the new breed of morons-behind-the-wheel on public roads. So, roundabouts are what we’re left with in an attempt to keep traffic moving, reduce emissions and increase fuel economy, and improve traffic safety. And, again, if roundabouts are too complicated for you, so is driving.