Sep 29, 2024

Roundabouts: A Rolling IQ Test

You know who hates roundabouts/traffic circles? Old people, dumb people, incompetent drivers, and rural goobers (redundant, I know). The rules are simple: “Yield to vehicles already in the roundabout. Merge into the traffic flow when it is safe. Continue through the roundabout until you reach your exit. Do not stop or pass in a roundabout." What do you have to do to obey those rules and to move smoothly through a traffic circle, pay fucking attention to what is happening around you.

Roundabout Navigation Descriptions

I have identified the short list of those who are baffled by those rules. If you are one, you should toss your drivers’ license, sell your car, buy a nice pair of walking shoes and a bus pass, and stay the fuck off of public roads, including crosswalks since you probably don’t know how those work either.

Roundabouts are statistically proven to be safer for everyone, even if they do raise the blood pressure of the above-mentioned group of nitwits. They are safer for cars, bicyclists, pedestrians, and even nearby buildings (since these same morons often find ways to crash into houses and businesses, too). Consider RoundaboutsAnyone who walks or rides a bicycle near traffic knows that most cagers barely acknowledge the existence of stop signs and, even, stop lights. The louder the exhaust pipe, the bigger the tires, and the older the driver, the less likely that person is to even slow down a bit before barreling through a sign or light. It’s tough to do that in a traffic circle. Even better, when one of these inbred morons waddles aimlessly into a roundabout, everyone else involved has a fighting chance to avoid them because of the reduced speeds, greater demand for wider traffic observation, and increased idiot-exposure.

No, I don’t love them, but I used to really like yield signs and highway safety experts learned, several years ago, that the whole “right-of-way rules” concept was too complicated for the new breed of morons-behind-the-wheel on public roads. So, roundabouts are what we’re left with in an attempt to keep traffic moving, reduce emissions and increase fuel economy, and improve traffic safety. And, again, if roundabouts are too complicated for you, so is driving.

4 comments:

Cas said...

Hi Thomas. I'm beginning to think that the only rule that (they think) applies to the modern generation is 'me first and above all'. Let's call it the rule of ego. :-( I have seen so many people pull out on other cars over the last few years and then shout angrily at the person who they just forced into an emergency stop; ego is the only explanation. Be careful out there!

T.W. Day said...

Good to hear from you.

I want to be careful with saying things like "new breed" living in rural America. It isn't just, or even mostly, younger people who are baffled by roundabouts or any other new concept. Like every other improvement in technology, as cars get smarter, people are getting dumber. Same thing for computers (especially demonstrated bycell phones) and even kitchen appliances.

Cas said...

A good few years ago, I was walking along a pavement in my home town. A guy went by on a push bike, doing nothing wrong. His road position was good, and he was travelling at a sensible speed. Behind him was a car which had slowed down, unable to get past the cyclist because there was a car coming the other way. His actions showed that he had definitely seen the cyclist. Everything looked very sensible until…….
When the oncoming car passed, the first car pulled out and overtook the cyclist, only to immediately pull across the cyclist’s path as the car turned into a side road. The cyclist hit the car, doing a somersault across its bonnet before landing on the road on the other side of the car.
I was running up to check on the cyclist, but before I got to the scene, the car driver had already got out and was shouting at the still dazed cyclist. Fortunately, although shaken, the cyclist wasn’t hurt too badly. His bike was wrecked though. I called the cops.
Initially the car driver claimed that the cyclist had crashed into him deliberately. He was red in the face and swinging his arms around for ages. Fortunately my witness statement got the blame squarely where it belonged. To this day, I have no idea how that plonker managed to rationalise his behaviour. Unfortunately there are too many like him out there.

T.W. Day said...

I'm definitely less optimistic, based on my experience from the past 40 years in the US. We've been breeding for morons for at least 250 years and they have likely reached critical mass. People of all ages are entitled, lazy, racist, uneducated (Donny's prime audience), and dangerous. I am close to the point where I would welcome another extinction event.