Not That Nice, or Competent

Doing some research for an MMM Geezer column, I stumbled onto this generally terrific analysis of Minnesota drivers: “Too fast, too slow, too angry: A New Yorker's treatise on Minnesota drivers.” Talk about hitting the nail on the head, of course the absurdly hostile reactions of some of the drivers described could be from transplants, too. My experience with Red Wing drivers puts some sort of exponential value on statements like, “They stop when they don’t have a stop sign (Outdoorsy Zen). They rarely use their turn signals (Reckless Existentialist). They merge tentatively on the highway and drive too slowly in the left lane (Outdoorsy Zen). Or they drive too fast in the right, and entirely too fast on icy roads (Reckless Existentialist).” After nearly getting centerpunched by a skinhead exiting Walmart and blasting full speed into Menard’s parking lot while his turn signal was blinking a left, this statement really hits home, “. . . it’s crucial that you channel the anger, spread it out a bit, have confidence that it’s justified. Don’t put the beast in a kennel all day and then unleash it while you’re alone in the car.” Skinhead boy was so outraged that I couldn’t read his tiny mind I had to laugh at him. Like the cruiser pilots who are no more in control of their Harley than a pair of cheap bicycle streamers, this doofus was merely a passenger in the wrong seat.

Chase down the original article and read this clinically insane Minnesota driver comments. It’s worth your time to know what kind of fruitcakes find a driver’s license in a Cracker Jacks box.