Jul 15, 2024

Thinking about Things I Will Never Do Again

This morning, I drug myself out of bed around 6:30AM (I know!), poured a cup of coffee, and waddled out to the garage to change the oil in my wife’s car before a trip to the cities later today. As I assembled the usual culprit tools, drug the floor jack to the front of the car, organized the oil and filter for easy access while I was under the car, I flashed back on 60 years of motorcycle maintenance. A few days ago, I emptied a large milk crate full of assorted motorcycle parts, tools, and accessories into a grocery bag and, now, most of that stuff has been claimed by the various people who bought my more expensive gear over the past week. I am, apparently, one demented Boy Scout. I was still prepared to do an oil change on at least a half-dozen motorcycles that I’ve owned over the past 30 years. But I will NEVER do that again.

A few weeks ago, when I decided to sell my Suzuki TU250X, I did a ceremonial last round of maintenance. I changed the oil and filter, checked the valve clearance, adjusted and lubed the chain, checked the tire pressures, and did a thorough detailing job one last time. As I did that job, I recalled a moment when I thought I might be passing on my motorcycle experiences to my grandson, Wolf. I about to do a pretty serious rework of my Kawasaki KL250 Super Sherpa after coming back from a 2010 North Dakota Ghost Town tour (that I’d planned on doing on the Kawasaki before the idiot shifter oil seal design dumped all of the bike’s oil on my boot during a pre-trip shakedown ride).

My idea was that Wolf might enjoy knowing something about how a motorcycle worked before I ran him through the MSF Basic Rider course and helped him get a motorcycle endorsement (and a driver’s license). He lasted about as long as it took for me to demonstrate chain maintenance and the beginning stages of an oil change before deciding that kind of grubby work was not for him. I wish I could say, “I get it,” but I don’t.

While I was going through the steps of the Honda’s oil change, I had flashbacks of doing that kind of simple-minded basic maintenance on everything from my first car through my last motorcycle. I’m too lazy to count either the number of cages or bikes I’ve worked on, or to even think about that hard, but as long as I have the right tools for the job I kind of love that work. I have a hard time understanding why everyone doesn’t, in fact.

I am a rapidly retreating introvert and as I’ve learned more about that personality characteristic post-retirement I realize that one of many things that I’ve appreciated about vehicle maintenance is that working on, around, and under a vehicle is a really effective people-repellant. If I go into my office to write, play music, or read, Ms. Day feels totally free to pop in, ask me questions, drop another honey-do project into my lap, or just ask “What’ca doin’?” If I am working on any kind of vehicle, she stays as far from that area as possible. The same went for my daughters, neighbors, and, now, grandkids. Nobody has any interest into being roped into handing me tools, holding on to a piece of metal while I weld it, being involved in a greasy, filthy project, or listening to me bitch about whatever stupid thing some factory engineers screwed up. I have never had a more isolated man cave than my garages and that has been true for almost 70 years. When I was a kid, working on my coaster brake Schwinn (or his lawnmower), my father would avoid his own garage until I rode off to test my work.

When we bought our 140-year-old “Ugly House” in Little Canada, I hadn’t seen the inside of the house until after closing, but I’d already made big plans for the 850-square-foot garage. I practically lived in that garage for 18 years and it was worth every penny of the $106,000 I paid for the house. The rest of the house belonged to Ms. Day and, for all I cared, if a tornado ripped the house out of the ground and tossed it to Kansas I’d have celebrated. Anything in the US built before 1947 should probably be scrapped for the raw materials. There was plenty wrong with that garage, too, especially the moronic drainage “plan,” but all the things that were right with it (especially after I installed a big window and skylights) made up for it. Mostly.

But today I’m down to simple maintenance on a twelve-year-old Honda CRV and my ebikes. It is highly likely that I’ll never see the inside of another motorcycle engine, reassemble another gearbox, repair or replace another non-bicycle tire, or do any of the things that gave me peace, quiet, and privacy for 60+ years. Thinking about that also reminded me of the moments in my 76 years when “the last time” passed unnoticed:

  • After a practice crash that left me with a dozen broken ribs and PTSD so demented that I repeatedly hallucinated similar crashes every time I caught a few inches of off-road air, I never raced motocross, enduros, or cross-country again (age 28).
  • When my youngest daughter and I returned from a wonderful trip up the coast of California in 1989, when she was 16, that would be the last time she and I ever took any kind of trip together. Three years later, my oldest daughter was visiting me in Colorado and we died a 3-day ride on my Yamaha Vision to Durango and around the mountains and that was the last time any of my kids and I would travel together by motorcycle.
  • When Ms. Day and I celebrated our 40th anniversary together with a two-up ride to the North Shore, that would be the last time she would ever ride with me on a motorcycle.
  • In 2018, I “celebrated” my 18th year as a Minnesota MSF instructor with a forced retirement due to double-vision and myasthenia gravis. Back then, I thought I was through with motorcycling and I sold my beautiful V-Strom and my WR250X. I definitely noticed that one, though.
  • After a fantastic 2016 trip through the Colorado mountains where I met a good friend and we explored a bunch of hot springs and our peculiar style of “riding together,” (Breakfast and, then, “I’ll meet you at . . . tonight”) I would never take a motorcycle trip longer than 100 miles again.

1 comment:

Cas said...

Hi Thomas,

It matters little what you are working on in that garage, just so long as you are working on something. Cars and electric bikes still count, as do even the simple things, like lawnmowers or other garden tools. It would make an excellent space for your band practice too.

If you went even further back into your history, there must be memories of lots of other 'last of' experiences such as your last day at school. Getting past some of these things is a good thing, and at lease you have been there and done that. The people I cannot understand in life are the ones who will not even decorate their own homes, do simple woodwork, or as in your example, really basic vehicle maintenance.

Of course the manufacturers will always try to make their own overpriced services essential, as shown in recent years by those cars that were fitted with sumps that had no drain screw, making a pump necessary for oil changes. I see that enterprising suppliers now list replacement sumps for these cars that include the necessary drain hole.

My niece recently bought a Range Rover Evoque, and even though it has low mileage, it now needs the timing chain replaced. The quote for this is £4000! I see that there are class action suits open in the USA, Korea and possibly other countries over this, with timing chains failing from as little as 33,000 miles. I priced the parts for the job online at £77.68, so the rest of that astounding cost must be grossly overpriced labour. There is plenty of stuff out there still to have a grudge against and plenty that can be done to stick it to the rip off artists and misinfomers out there.

A friend, many years ago was ill from childhood. As riding bikes became lost to him he rode pillion until this too became impossible, only then did he move to cars. In time things like simple computer programming filled his hours since he was house bound by then. His attitude was always 'can do', and his wit was irrepressible. He is my hero to this day. Keep up the grudging Thomas. There will always be firsts out there too, you just have to find them.

Look after yourselves,

Ian