Who Are These Guys?

I guess you could assume they are characters from Sons of Anarchy, based on their dopy biker stares and idiotic costumes. I’ve had more than a few of them in my so-called Experienced Rider Courses (appropriately if insultingly renamed the BRC II) and I can tell you a lot about them.

Like the ABATE crowd, they are at least 70% responsible for every motorcycle crash. Between their single-vehicle silliness and their drunken riding and their general inability to maneuver their motorcycles, they are one of the most entitled groups on the road. As this silly ad indicates, they refuse to do anything about their contribution to ridiculous motorcycle crash statistics and continue to blame drivers for their problems.

Every time I see one of these clowns on a motorcycle, I think they are barely more than streamers dangling from the handlebars. On an unmodified bike, these dudes can’t turn, stop, or even accelerate competently (loudly, but not competently). Once they’ve applied their customizing touch, braking is totally out of the question. They have to “lay ‘er down,” as in scream, panic, and fall over because they have no clue how a motorcycle (or a car) stops.